Adoption Awareness

November 14, 2017

No one tells you the heart ache of adoption.  Yes they talk about the long process, the mountain of papers to file, the multiple hoops to jump through.  But no one tells you about the life long attachment disorders that children struggle with from being removed from their birth mom.  No one tells you that children services will treat adoptive parents as if they were any other bad parent if accusations are made.

On the eve of adoption awareness day, my adopted sister became un-adopted.

Is that even a word?

A girl that has lived with us since she was 2.5 and had 14 birthday parties with us as a family.  We are the only true family she has ever known beside her brother who also lives with us.

Today we sat in a courtroom and listened to how children services did their due diligence again.  We listened to how we have rights, more than Cassie about the decisions being done.  I am a nobody to the courts, just a sister, a bio daughter of the parents.  I wanted to stand up and say “BS”  Bull Shataki!  Cassie has had the say from the beginning.  She said she didn’t want to see us and children services said “ok, you don’t have to”.  She said she doesn’t want to go back home and they said “ok, you don’t have to”.   Bull Crap that my parents had more rights than she has had the last ten months!   The judge sat there and annoyingly told my parents that Cassie is just a child and she has no idea what she wants or know what is best for herself.  Children Service has no founded justification for being involved in our family and yet they took permanent custody today.

As far as we know it is over, There is no more contact.  No more visits.  No more court dates. No more information on how she is or what she is doing in life.  She can hide behind the system from now until she ages out of the system.  She is 17.    She has one more year.

I wish her the best…mostly.  A small sliver of my heart is rather bitter right now.

So this morning I had 2 sisters and now I only have 1?  When someone dies you still claim them as family even though they are not here.  This feels worse than a death.  Because she chose this for all of us and is very much alive.

I’ve said it before and I will probably say it until the end of time.  Children Services dropped the ball in this case.  They have taken the word of a documented liar over parents that have been actively involved with support groups, church groups, school groups, and children service classes.  They have treated my parents as if they are criminals guilty of terrible things.  They have allowed a 17 year old girl essentially run away and still be protected from the streets.

I’ve said it all day BS won today.  Those 3 ladies from the system walked out of that courtroom proud of what was accomplished today.  I bet even Cassie walked around school today a little more smug.  What a joke.

I’ll save the tears for another day, because today I am more pissed off then I am sad.  The holidays are quickly approaching and I know they are going to be hard on me.  I had a crazy weird feeling last Christmas that it would be our last ‘normal’ Christmas.  I couldn’t shake the feeling…now I know why.  This Christmas will look so different, but the year after it will be easier and the year after that will be easier.  I know this about life.  It keeps going.  New memories happen and old ones grow dim.



One comment

  1. I love you so much Sarah…so wishing I could be there with you right now…we have a lot of Bull and This is Us to catch up on!!

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