another glitch on this road.

It’s official. I have become the one people look at when someone announces a pregnancy.  They look for my reaction.  Am I happy, mad, ready to burst into tears, looking for the closest exit?  This is a new experience for me in this infertility walk. I am not sure how to deal with it.  I am pretty sure I do not like it…

One of my dear friends called me up a few months ago to see how I was doing.  She checked my emotions and then told me she was pregnant.  I so appreciated her heart for me.  But I am so happy for her and her husband. I think they are a little nuts (they have 18 month old twin girls already   She approached the news with sensitivity, but now she is free to share whatever she wants.  I want to know how she is doing and feeling.  She is having a lot of sickness with this pregnancy, and it sucks..I want…almost need..her to share that with  me.

Another friend is just starting this process of trying for a baby with her husband.  I am so excited for them.  I pray she calls me in a few months to do lunch and she share the great news with me!  She is constantly questioning if it is okay to talk to me about this new journey.   I immediately tell her she is crazy and I would be crushed if she didn’t let me share in the excitement and nervousness of this new chapter in her life!

Another friend, now happily married discusses her “plans” and then apologizes for her insensitivity.  What?  I was married and being with my husband after she would spend the evening crying on the phone over not having a husband!  Where was my sensitivity?!

It boils down to the simple fact that you can be empathetic and take a sensitive approach , but you still have to live your life.

I am finding that the ones that are concerned about me I am genuinely happy and excited for.  I appreciate their heart, but I want them to share.  I need them to not hide their excitement, their fears, their struggles.

I appreciate the sensitivity and the approach.  But then it almost hurts more to know they are hiding their excitement/struggles from me.

Because lets all be clear, pregnancy is full of excitement, but it can be hard, trying, difficult, and scarey. Babies are a wonderful blessing, but wrapped in that bundle is a whole lot of unknown.

Bottom line:

I want sensitivity,  but I don’t want my friends to be afraid to tell me their news.

~~

Just another side note:

When an announcement is made, don’t look to the infertile woman/couple standing in the room.  Let ‘em be.  If the announcement is from a caring and loving friend, chances are she already knew about the pregnancy!  And if somehow it was overlooked, she doesn’t need other people waiting for her reaction!

 

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