Resolutions

Every year on this day people make resolutions.  promises to themselves.  promises to loved ones.  promises to be better.  Think about it. Every new years resolution has to do with bettering yourself, your relationships, or your health.

I do not like resolutions.  But every year  I set goals for myself…Trust me they are totally different!  Last few years have had a rocky start to the new year.  This year hasn’t started off with a life-changing event, but it has started out with a hard lesson that I will never fully be done.

I will never fully be done improving myself.  I will never be at a point in my marriage where I will always do the right thing.  I will never be done improving as a wife, mother, daughter, sister, or friend.  I just won’t.  There will always be more I can learn.

Last year Mike and I took a weekend away.  It was the best thing we have done in a long time for our marriage.  This year we can not/chose not to afford to get away, but we took an afternoon and discussed 2012. Our hopes, dreams…our reality.

Reality that our marriage still needs work and always will.

Reality that this house is small and we need to figure something out.

Reality that we can be better parents, friends, mates.

So many times I think of what is wrong with Mike.  I look past my issues and go straight to his.  It is much easier to say what is wrong with him than to try and work on my issues…

Today I did that again.  I was embarrased, so I made him look bad.  I knew the whole time I was doing it that it was disrespectful and that is the one thing my husband hates.  But just being honest, I did not care in that moment.

Number one goal this year: allow God to get closer to my heart again.  I know if I am right with God I will be a better wife, mother, sister, daughter, and friend.

We could add more space in this house, get pregnant or make decisions about adoption.  We could read books, go to marriage conferences, lose weight, pay down debts..all of our other goals could be accomplished this year, but if we fail to.  If I fail to get right with God, then I will still be lacking.

I am not saying getting straight with God will make everything fall into place and will make everything peachy keen again.  But it will change my perspective.  I know it will.

So 2012, there is lots to be done this year.  Lets get busy.

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